Parents and caregivers
Some useful information about the Kidsemotions site
1. How does it all work?
Kidsemotions will tell you more about the emotional development of your child. It consists of a series of questions about scenarios that most children have experienced or can imagine. The questions invite them to choose which option best describes the way that they would respond in that situation. The programme calculates the result and provides feedback. There’s also a worksheet for the next step in your child’s emotional development.
2. How do you know about children's emotions?
I have a Master's degree and a PhD in psychology. I have also researched emotions as a postdoctoral fellow. And last, but not least: I have two children myself, aged 9 and 6. They have gone through the questionnaire and tried the worksheets themselves.
3. How old do my children need to be to answer the questionnaire?
The questionnaire is designed for kids aged 7 to 12. Younger children may not understand the questions. Older children may find the questions silly because they see the answers as obvious.
4. Why is the questionnaire free?
Because I felt everyone should be able to benefit from it.
5. Will the questionnaire help me to solve my child's emotional problems?
Yes, though it can not replace expert advice. It will help by giving you and your child a better understanding of your child's emotions. You will learn about your child's emotional reactions and the way your child interacts with others. The feedback will suggest some action points and the worksheets will help you to get started.
6. Will the questionnaire help my child become emotionally intelligent?
Yes. The questionnaire cannot turn a child into an 'emotional genius', but it will help your child become more emotionally skilled. The questions and feedback will help you have a better understanding of the emotional development of your child and that’s a vital step in raising emotional-intelligent children.
7. What if I don’t like the feedback we receive in the end?
The questionnaire assesses children as they see themselves, so the feedback indicates the most likely way your child will respond. Even if the results are not what you hope, you will have some useful information about which emotional responses your child needs to work on next.
8. Can the behaviour of my child change, or are the characteristics permanent?
All children (even all adults) can develop their emotional intelligence. Different things help different children. Identifying action points is a good start for everyone. Using one of the worksheets or exercises would be a good second step.
9. How can a questionnaire help?
Learning to manage emotions is a bit like learning to ride a bicycle. If you know what your child can’t do yet (keeping balance, stopping or turning a corner) you know what to practice and how to help.
This is true for managing emotions too. If you know what emotion your child has most difficulties with you might be able to help. How you help is a different issue. Here the questionnaire can’t help you. But you may have your own strategies or want to try the worksheet that is suggested for your child.
The worksheet gives you a better understanding of your child’s emotions and starts to help your child to think and act differently the next time. This is what is known as “cognitive behavioural intervention”.
10. Children need discipline and punishment, not a fancy quiz.
Children are not like adults. Their brains are not yet fully developed. We can’t demand the same level of responsibility and discipline that we expect from adults. Especially young children for instance aren’t able to control their anger. An anger outburst can just happen – whether they want it or not.
In a way punishing a young child for acting out their anger is like punishing a blind person for not recognising a red traffic light. It makes no sense. And it damages more than it helps. We mustn’t punish our children for things they have no control over. Rather we need to teach our children ways of gaining control over their emotions. Once this is done, discipline and responsibility will follow naturally.
11. Why do you ask for donations?
This website can only continue to exist through donations. Kidsemotions relies on donations and sponsorship for funding. The whole project was developed as a hobby on a shoestring budget and your donation is very welcome. Every bit helps to keep the service alive.